I know for a fact that I’ve got a well-earned shitty reputation as far as reliability and responsibility in any sense is concerned. I’ve flushed a lot of great things right down the toilet, and forced a lot of the people around me whom i love to walk through Hell on my behalf. In return, I generally have just continued fucking bigger things up and making it all worse until every relationship around me crumbles.
I am deeply sorry to everyone whose hearts I have hardened with my abandon, especially my wife. Everyone who knows me knows that I’d be nowhere without Kara and her undying support and guidance. She has built everything good in our lives and I’ve returned nothing but neglect and heartbreak. She deserves far better than I have ever given.
Everyone does. I cannot offer apologies deep enough to cover the years of lies, unfulfilled promises, and breaches of trust I’ve dug away that truly separate me from everyone who has tried to be there for me.
I’m going to scale back and focus on my priorities, mainly being a husband and father. I wish I could say my careless days had been a fun ride, but I don’t even have that. I have no doubt that it will be a better road, putting neglect and lies behind me, working fulfill the needs of my family and everyone else I have forced away. I don’t expect or deserve forgiveness from anyone, especially Kara, but I hope to eventually earn back the faith I’ve burnt. In the meantime, I am sorry, and thank you.
-Tony
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